i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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