in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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