My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Randomize
