mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
