idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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