I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
