Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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