What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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