we have officially lost it.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
