it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize