whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You may now shotgun with the bride
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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