Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
