Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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