i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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