Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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