i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
