i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
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