i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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