Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
