i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
