haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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