Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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