A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
