Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
ttyl tear gas
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
