How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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