I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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