I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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