I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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