no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
