she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
That's when you crack a 10am beer
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
