sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm at about main and main street
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
