He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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