Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
