Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
