to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
