Is it normal to miss your booty call?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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