You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
