But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize