you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
