can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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