three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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