at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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