I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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