hotel room ftw
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
