I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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