I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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