k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
