Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
