I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
