Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
