u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
