he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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