I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
