Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
