i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
