That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
