Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
