we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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