I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
ttyl tear gas
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
