I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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