That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
